WM Showers...

First of all I want to thank all the kind folks in Louisiana for this past weekend’s wedding showers. Southern hospitality was well represented in the home of Po’ boys and such. It was a great time of fellowship and Jami and I are eternally grateful. Now that the pleasantries are over let me get to the meat of it. I want to make it known for anyone reading this that is not from Louisiana to pay very close attention to what I am about to say. Wedding Showers are another religion to Louisiana women. I repeat. WEDDING SHOWERS ARE ANOTHER RELIGION TO THE WOMEN OF THE GREAT STATE OF LOUISIANA!!!!!

I know what you are thinking. The bald guy is elaborating to make a good story but the best things in life write themselves. Let me backtrack a bit. Not long after the planning of the nuptials we drove through the night from Nashville to her beloved West Monroe for the registering weekend from Hades. We got up with very little sleep in a euphoric trance and spent the day registering for a variety of sparkly, shiny, frilly things that I am sure I loved at the time but can’t remember at the moment. That is except for that Cuisinart coffee grinder in a magnificent stainless steel finish adorned with a built-in grinder. I could swear there was a beam from Heaven shining on it when first I laid eyes upon thee but I digress. The point of all of this was that I found us registering for LOTS of stuff and thinking to myself we would never get any of it. I was such a fool.

Flash forward to this past weekend. We again blazed through the night down I-20 with MONSTER in hand and my beloved asleep in the passenger seat. For the eight-hour drive I was already in need of therapy trying to comprehend the fact that there were TWENTY hostesses on one shower and TEN couples on the other. I am from Chattanooga and we just don’t go this grandiose. A shower to us is as a gift card to Outback and a slap on the rump. You can imagine with my basis for the wedding shower experience that this pretty much had me questioning all I had known in life for at least a few hundred miles. Granted, the Magnolia had been telling me for months to get ready for the experience. Did I listen? …….I’m male remember.

So Jerry and I get up with the women folk of the Foster household and help them get gifts together for the hostesses and then sent them on their way. Jami and Judy looked great and they were only out of the house for a few minutes when then The Man, The Myth, The Dentist and I went off to find some lunch. By the way, I have discovered PeGe’s and my stomach has thanked me for it. Anyway, we walk into the restaurant and Jerry introduces me to a couple by the door that promptly asked me about Jami’s showers. I was slightly taken aback.  I mean do you people advertise these things on TV or something? I should have known then but again I am not the brightest Crayon in the box.

So the Hot Pepper wanted me to show up and meet some folks at her Tea Shower before it ended. Jerry and I roll in about 3:30 just in time for me to witness the onslaught. I walk in and Judy finds me and starts introducing me to hostesses, attendees, etc. All I remember was a barrage of the fairer sex in abundance and wondering where in this lovely home was my betrothed. I eventually make my way through the smiles and delectable desserts on tables to round the corner and there it was. My lovely bride-to-be looking glazed over like a deer in the headlights and boxes upon boxes of STUFF. There was pewter, china, towels, knick-knacks, paddy whacks, give a dog a bone. The retail carnage staring back at me reminded me of Normandy Beach. She looks at me and in only the loving manner that our dear Jami can express comments with “I TOLD YOU SO!”

So after pausing a few moments to let the mayhem stop swimming around my head it was time to pack up. After loading up the Foster Parental Unit’s Escalade AND Jami’s SUV to get everything out of there the harsh reality hit me. A) I REALLY need to buy us a house and B) We were going to do this again at 6:30. LORD give us strength.

Seriously, both wedding showers absolutely blew me away. My new family-to-be and their extended family are some of the best people I have ever known. There were tons of laughs in addition to the West Monroe Stimulus that was our showers. I cannot thank everyone enough for being such a fun part to this chapter of Jami’s life and mine. You all rock. Now I am going to call my realtor to check my credit score so I can figure out where in the heck we are going to put everything.

Later,

Stunned